Basketball Wives Reunion June 20, 2010: The MIA, the Leftovers, & Snaggletooth Catches a Case!

 Can I get a slam dunk please?    

Is this the new Fab 5? THAT'S wassup!! (Photo:


 Ok I gotta get this off my chest, I cannot STAND Tanika Ray or any other bootleg reunion host that has never been a participant on a similar type of show. It irks me to no friggin end and the only possible exception to this rant is when LaLa Vasquez hosts on of the plethora of VH1 reunion shows (cuz she’s bold enough to go in on these stupid contestants, UNLIKE someone wh *cough* Andy Cohen *cough*). Does ANYONE know who this bitch Tanika is anyway? She’s still better that bird-looking chick MTV gets to house the Real World aftershows (not my beloved Mark Long, who often hosts the Challenges on MTV…at least he has the balls to ask direct questions, good lawd can any host just ask the shit we, the viewers, want to know?) Ok with that rant out the way, let’s get into what went down on the reunion for season one of Basketball Wives. But first, why is VH1 so cheap they can’t even give the ladies a tape of the edited ep a few days prior to air a la Bravo? This explains why this chicks go CRAZY on Twitter/articles/blogs after a new ep airs – they gotta clean house for real!  

Did you guys know that Evelyn ending this with Tone mid-wedding?!?! See, to me that does slightly change the perception of Eve’s just a golddigger/she bounced when the money got low. Any woman who has planned a wedding, is married, or has been married understands how much goes into it and how much it would REALLY take for a woman to walk away, voluntarily, before signing that wedding certificate. To the point Eve’s dress is still half made? Nope, Eve gets respect from me on this, she left him before marrying him and if she was planning on it, she could have BSed paying for a custom gown and just banked the cash.  

Dear Gloria: Being a bitch doesn't make you any "realer." (Photo:


 Why wasn’t Gloria there? On top of the fact none of the “Wives” can stand her ghetto ass, she’s all about “Matt.” Hey if it were true, I’d cosign it, but I believe it’s bullshit. Let’s be honest, the one cast member who came off cunty IS Gloria, her cum-receptacle sister Laura, and Matt. Now Gloria is backpeddaling, giving her typical, uneducated “whatever/that’s what’s up/it is what it is” responses instead of just being REAL and saying “I felt like the Puppetmaster Shaunie tricked me into being on the show and helped me expose my family as a couple of serial gold diggers who just trap ballers by having kids outside of wedlock…and then those babies can’t even get my baby daddy down the aisle within 1-2 years.” YEA, that’s exactly how the Govan sisters are looking right now…they look STUPID and no one gives a shit about them. So PUHLEASE Gloria, do us all a favor and admit Shaunie et al. don’t’ even want your ass on the show, Shaunie NEVER wanted your ass on the show cuz your sister is trifling and u just wholeheartedly support whorism, it’s not a good look and it’s NOT what’s up. Oh and from this point on, not only is Shaunie the Puppetmaster, but she will be referred to as She Who Cannot be Named Like Voldermort™. “Matt Barnes, who?” Shaunie said it best, STFU Gloria and your wack-ass ball player that most major groupies aren’t even aware of.    

Is Sandra trying to be the Miami CoCo? (Photo:


Let’s be honest, the reunion wasn’t that great. We ALL knew about Snaggletooth Kethcam™ going after Sandra the Groupie with the Bad Implants before the finale ep, but did any of you realize Sandra just got off the friggin boat? Seriously, I was waiting for VH1 to put subtitles on her ass cuz she has to be the most ignorant-sounding heffa with a BAD whatever-the-fucking-island accent. I don’t want to HEAR her, much less even see her ass get a second more of screen time. As we know, anytime a shows gets greenlighted for another season, all the wannabe cast members start acting more ghetto and reckless just to be considered for the slot (I’m looking at YOU, Kim G!!!). BAM! HERE COMES SUZIE, DOWN GOES SANDRA “SHE’S NOT WORTH MESSING UP ANYTHANG” I’m sorry, I have an issue with a bitch who thinks she has the right to tell a man’s WIFE anything. Who the fuck is you, trick? I don’t know if I have ever stated this, initially I didn’t have an issue with Sandra until she felt the need, at both the “party she was hosting aka pouring drinks” and the restaurant patio, to tell Mrs. Eric Williams that HER husband don’t claim her and yadda yadda yadda. BYTCH, he married her and she has a wedding ring, how is THAT not claiming her. So he doesn’t tell every trick he talks to he’s married and if so, that’s on him, but who the fuck is the bad implant reject fresh off the raft that she feels its her right and her place to tell any married woman shit about her husband other than “I’m sleeping with him, Go talk to your husband?” When they replayed the scene in which Eve said “they ALWAYS hung up” it really hit home for me. They do ALWAYS hangup and they do so cuz these jumpoffs just like to make their presence known to the wife enough for the wife to bring it back to the husband, make waves, and then the jumpoff gets the husband by default. Sandra ain’t shit, she’s full of shit, and she needs to think about her daughter more than showing her fugly ass on tv and around Miami with that horrible plastic surgery…paging Dr. 90210, stat!    

Damn u, damn u Royce for making me cry like a bitch! Between Jennifer and Royce, I was pretty satisfied with the season and the reunion. We all heard the rumors about Royce before the show started and while I certainly didn’t jump on the “she’s a former NBA dancer/baby’s momma so she’s a trifling groupie” bandwagon..BUT I gotta admit we all did judge Royce based on what, 45 seconds of dancing in which Eve, Suzie, and Jenn were all standing right there WITH Royce? Yea, When Royce started breaking down and explaining how she reached out to Shaunie so she could have a voice, I broke. Deep down, Basketball Wives reminded of the first season of RHoNJ where it was painfully obvious to everyone that all Danielle wanted was to be accept and have some new girlfriends. Unlike RHoNJ and the Manzo MOB, these ladies (minus Govan) gave Royce a chance – even Eve would was Royce’s biggest critic. I can’t fault Jenn, Eve, and Suzie for being skeptical about the idea of Royce, not Royce herself: who doesn’t think all three of these woman (and even Shanuie) automatically transferred their personal experiences with groupies onto to Royce, effectively making her the posterchild for “THIS is what’s wrong in the NBA/this is why groupies destroyed my previous relationship,” which was completely stereotypical, judgmental, and unfair but hey, it’s the world we live in and lawd knows this blog contributes to the cycle, so who am I to stop the process?. If Evelyn can come around and admit Royce isn’t a bad person and u just have to take the time to know her, I’m convinced that Gloria COULD have done the same….but I think it’s Royce’s baby’s daddy Dwight Howard and his relationship with Matt that’s really at the core of this. I’m all for supporting your man and standing behind him, but seriously, Gloria wasn’t even woman enough to tell Royce “what’s up.” The LADIES told Royce what was up and Royce promptly went Layla Ali on Gloria’s ass at the gym.   

Before I get into the Tweets, let me clarify who’s who cuz EVERYONE is going in on everyone else lmao. Jennifer Williams is @REDCARPET_17, Shaunie is @Shaunie_O, Evelyn is @FirstLadyEve, Suzie is iLuvSuzie, Matt is @Matt_Barnes22. Having said that, here are some of Tweets from Sunday (reunion night) up until today. Yes, there were some twights popping off this weekend, folks!!     

Here are some of Matt’s Tweets, including Round 2 with Shaunie lol:    

  1. @REDCARPET_17 Yall post all the fake shit u want. Lookn like Joe Camel go shoot a commercial. Ms (Status) FukOutaHere!! about 4 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® in reply to REDCARPET_17
  2. Plus I know I have sum yall rolln. I tryd taken the HIGH rd but these hoes think they sumbody know. #FukOutaHere w/that shit about 4 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  3. Yall jus wasten yo time telln me 2 ignore or dnt listen. Fuk them b!tches. U give them a inch they take a mile. U dnt like me Block Me about 4 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  4. And like my nigga NAS says (You Can Hate Me Now) hahhaha Gone!!! about 5 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  5. Trippen we eatn good & liven good no sweat off r backs & 1 last thing we getting married Aug 21st & I bet u wish u were invited. (Cont) about 5 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  6. turned against her & r family because they Listen 2 the (PuppetMaster) aka shaunie. Wat the f#*k would u do. Trus me we not trippn we(cont) about 5 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  7. & 4 all u bbwives fans that think G and I r the bad guys Ill take it cause I LUV being the VILLANE but G dnt deserve it. That hole show(cont about 5 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  8. @Shaunie_O color to adopt to there surroundings. Oh & do me a favor and dope the Oneal of ur last name like ole boy dropped you about 5 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® in reply to Shaunie_O
  9. @Shaunie_O 2gether then u talk out the side of yo neck causes u couldn’t keep yo man. Ur like 1 of those lizards that change color 2(cont) about 5 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® in reply to Shaunie_O
  10. @Shaunie_O Im kinda confused bout who u r?? U throw G a babyshower when we get 2 phx, ur fam comes 2 the crib 4 dinner spend holidays(cont) about 5 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® in reply to Shaunie_O 
  11. For those who even care G didn’t go 2 the reunion cause once she realized wat kinda BS shaunie was on it was a waste of time about 5 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  12. @FirstLadyEve&@RedCarpet_17 yall hoes enjoy ur 5mins of fame & when it runs out make sure u find another athlete/celeb 2 SUCK dry. TRICKS!!! about 6 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® 

 Evelyn’s Tweets to Matt: On Monday 21st June 2010, @FirstLadyEve said: Stay in ur fuck*in lane homie! Don’t get us started on ur wife either & athletes! Cuz ur not the first! RT (cont) about 4 hours ago via UberTwitter     

Jenn’s Tweets to Matt: Do u wanna talk abt the model u smashed in NY then put in a cab while ur fiance was pregnant? Yeah, I didn’t think so CLOWN! @Matt_Barnes22 about 4 hours ago via UberTwitter      

Suzie’s Tweet lol: iLuvSuzie Everyone is asking where the bucket came from…it was my champagne bucket in my dressing room!!! about 16 hours ago via UberTwitter     

I left all the hyperlinks intact so you guys can see the tweets (as long as they weren’t deleted since then) for yourself. Also, here’s a nice post from MTO today which also shows the screenshots of Matt’s funky tweets , since I also have readers demanding proof. Or is that when it’s just about RHoNJ and the Manzo MOB? Makes you think, doens’t it? lol     

Oh and here are a few recent tweets from Sandra, the Queen of Bad Implants herself (@AGENTSANDRA007):   

  1. RT @GBILLZ @AGENTSANDRA007 “WHERE’S DA BITCH AT” ??Lmfao!!<=Cayate!!Lol.& bitch RAN bhind security AGAIN nd locked herself up in da bckroom 3 minutes ago via web
  2. RT @premadonna87 @AGENTSANDRA007 hey sis” why the bitch threw water and ran! .my only question” <= SIS U ALREADY kno das ALL she good for! less than a minute ago via web
  3. RT @premadonna87 @AGENTSANDRA007 hey sis” why the bitch threw water and ran! .my only question” <= Didnt i tell u she a #punkassbitch??!! 22 minutes ago via web 

So what have we learned from A Basketball Wife, Ex-Wives, Baby’s Mommas, Ex-girlfriends, and Bargain Basement Jumpoffs?   

1)    NBA players can’t keep their dicks in their pants   

2)    NBA players like you to drop a child or two at least 18 months – 2 years before they possibly marry you    

3)    Some NBA players will string a bitch along for 10 years and expect her to eat it, yet if you walk away from the relationship, you too are labeled a gold digger by default.   

4)    Being in a long-term relationship through college, pre-NBA, often happens. Often times these relationship result in children but can you really fault  or point fingers at a woman was in a relationship with their baby’s father/fiancé for a decade?    

5)    In order to keep a NBA player, you basically have to conform to their every needs, want, and desire. Unless he signs off on it, you can’t do it (I’m looking at you, Gloria!). All this tells me is that if you want to keep up your lifestyle, you gotta blindly follow the lead of a man who’s best asset is his athletic ability rather than his intellect.   

6)    The Puppetmaster…aka She Who Cannot be Named Like Voldermort™ is responsible for bringing us this entertaining nugget and for that, I thank her (and her divorce settlement from Shaq..therefore I guess I also have to think Laura Govan too lol).   

7)    Gloria Govan, Laura Govan, and Matt Barnes all look stupid, thanks to themselves and She Who Will Not Be Named Like Voldermort™   

8)    Suzie, Royce, and Evelyn will throw down in a hot second.   

9)    Shanie, Suzie, Jennifer, Evelyn, and Royce = THAT’S WHAT’S UP!   

10) Eric Williams is NOT the most attractive man on the planet, but it was nice to see him attempt to work on his marriage on national tv. Both Jennifer & Eric deserve some credit for that cuz they could have ended up looking as badly as Gloria & Matt, no?   

11) Gloria Govan is the Caroline Sorprano of #basketballwives, except Caroline has a bigger pair of balls & will just say shit to the other person’s face. Gloria can’t even keep it real and now none of these ladies even like her ass. Gloria has effectively been ex-communicated…hmm does this now make her this show’s Danielle? Or since her punk ass claims she won’t be back and how negative the show has been, does that make Gloria the Dina of the cast?    

12) THAT’S WHAT’S UP! = What a Kellamity! = THEBOOK = Just Sayin’ = BAM! = Thick as Theives = Prostitution Whore = Naked Wasted. If you understand that, then this is the blog for you 😛 

P.S. Dear VH1: next season can you tape/air the reunion a little closer to the finale and refrain from forcing us to sit thru 40 minutes of clips and about 20 minutes of actual content? You are bordering on Andy Cohen territory here, I know it can’t be good for the Jews much less any of us viewers. TYVM & see you next season (hopefully with more epsiodes with a new scapegoat)!   

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  • Comments (1)
    • TNBelle2
    • June 24th, 2010

    ROFLMAO good one Toni. Hey check out Donald Trumps the ultimate merger on TV1 Omarosa trying to get a man. LOLOL. I would LOVE to read your thoughts on it.

    As for the Bwives I forgot all about the young girls. I was not impressed with the show, I surely missed (maybe not) missed the reunion.

    Take care

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