Survivor: What happened to Outwit, Outplay, OUTLAST?

Has Survivor become the new American Idol and the Jury a bunch of tweens voting with their raging hormones?

I’ve been having severe agitta all week over Survivor Heroes v Villains. It’s not due to me believing Parvarti should have won or the fact Sandra did win (again)… issue is my man Russell Hanz once again not getting a single vote. More importantly, the fact that the bitchy jury of All Stars DID THE EXACT SAME THING that they always complain about: voting based on personal feelings and NOT based on game play.

Any true fan of Survivor knows the game’s motto is Outwit, Outplay, Outlast. By default, whosever left standing to face the Jury at the final Tribal Council automatically qualifies for “Outlast” in my book. “Outplay” can often be determined by the strategic moves a finalist makes and how well that finalist can communicate said moves to the jury. “Outwit” is the tricky part…and the part I believe the Survivor jury foolishly neglected and/or ignored out of personal spite. In addition, there is an element of game play, luck, and social game that also factor into the equation; however, a better social game should be irrelevant by jury time IF the jury votes for the better game player IMO. Social game is what keeps your ass from getting voted out in Week 2. Social game is what is needed to build the right alliances to keep you ass in the game. Once you get to the final 2 or 3, more often than not they have some sort of alliance or they wouldn’t be in the end together – thus why the person who wins the final immunity challenge technically has control of the game…that is until the jury comes into play.

The definition of “outwit” states the following:
– To overcome, or get the better of, by cunning or cleverness.
– To be more intelligent than
– To surpass in cleverness or cunning, outsmart.


In the case of Samoa, Russ OUTWITTED everyone, point blank. If you deny this fact, you can kiss Jeff Probst, Dalton Ross, and my collective asses. Russ chose to allow Natalie to ride is coattails to the end in what is a typical Survivor strategy of “have the weakest link sitting beside you when facing the jury.” Russ got the better of, outsmarted, outfoxed, and was more clever and cunning than every other player; however, I will admit Natalie outmaneuvered him by her social game, which really wasn’t by her own doing. Russ lost Samoa due to a jury of bitter bitches (damn, once again a bunch of bitches ruins something good!) who GAVE Natalie a million dollars just to spite him and justify the fact they were not willing to admit they were indeed outwitted by Mr. Hanz.

And then we have Heroes V Villains – hands down the best season of Survivor to date IMO.

However, the fundamental flaws in this season included:
– the inclusion of players that have played together before multiple times (Parv, Amanda, & James anyone?)
– players who have become to notorious for their previous strategies they are instantly targets (my girl Cirie had them ALL running scared)
– previous winners (Parv, Sandra, Tim, JT, & I’m including Rupe cuz technically, he won a million)
– bad casting. Super and Randy. Enough said.
– the crazy and dividing label of “hero” and “villain” that meant very little considering past & personal relationships across both tribes ran deeper than the original tribe alliance (let’s be honest, who didn’t see that coming?)
– HILs (hidden immunity idols): many All Stars such as Colby, Tom, Steph, and Boston Rob has never played with HILs (true old school players). If this was indeed to be the deluxe All Star season, why even include HILs and make the best of the best play with old school rules?
– EGO. The biggest flaw with HvVil is simply the fact most of these contestants are now personalities. They are bigger than the lonely little contestant that first appeared on a transport with strangers. There were no pre-existing personal relationships. Now these Survivor personalities have become victims of their own hype and unfortunately (for both them and us, the viewers) many of these All Stars seem to think they are the most important and better game player than the others. James clearly has not gotten over his bonehead move of getting evicted with 2 HILs. Amanda is clearly not over (and still not prepared for) the cunning instinct and lack of emotion it takes to truly win the game of Survivor. Rupert was a fan favorite more than 8 years ago, but who ever told Rup he was a fan favorite for his game play? HELLO – I like Rupert because he USED to be “the gentle giant” and now he’s acts like an entitled old man who believed the hype behind being labeled a “hero.”


And do not even get me started on one Stephenie LaGrossa – bitch you had me in Palau, you really started to lose me in Guatemala, and by the time I saw your beautiful cunty eyebrows in action in HvsVil, I was OVER your ass. You ARE fucking Survivor kryptonite and I agree with James A MILLION, GAZILLION TIMES, YES, (shout out to Randy Jackson, dawg!) if you are the only remaining member of your tribe due to the fact you constantly lost, you ARE bad mojo and I wouldn’t want to be on the same tribe if my life depended on it.

Getting back on topic here, I honestly cannot dispute the fact that Sandra, much to my chagrin, played a hell of a damned good game starting with her alliance with Boston Rob. If I’m being truly honest, I would say Sandra played a better game than Parv and deserved to win – although Parv & Sandra were aligned as Villains Parv did herself a favor by giving Sandra the HIL in order to keep the Villains numbers, which in turn did Sandra a favor and allowed her to last another week. Parv’s biggest mistake was Danielle. Danielle’s TC meltdown and subsequent admission of a strong alliance with Parv is the entire reason why Russ & Jerri changed votes at the last minute and Danielle got the boot. Even Parv was pissed that Dani let that much 411 out the bag….so now everyone knows Parv had a potential Final 3 alliance with Danielle & Russ…Parv’s won multiple immunities…while Parv outlasted, she certainly didn’t “outplay” this time around.

I know Russell Hanz, as a Survivor player (not the person. We don’t know the person so who the hell are we to judge him on that level?), is quite controversial. I personally think Russ is a Survivor legend, a frequently fearless player, and a true lover of the original Survivor premise of Outplay, Outwit, Outlast….where the fuck does “social game” come into play? Out of all the All Stars who returned this season, in my heart I know only a few would, if given the opportunity on the Jury, would vote for the game play over social game and the best example I can give would be Boston Rob. After getting voted out, BR admitted that it was a good move to get him out when he did and if he wasn’t him he would have done the same thing (got it? Lmao if not read it again it makes more sense than an energist, trust me). BR is a man who loves the game and is no longer caught up in himself to the point he’s blinded – yea BR has finally grown up, so why can’t the other All Stars?

I fail to see how ANY of the jury members could NOT give Russ a vote? Russ came into Heroes Vs. Villains as the true underdog – no one had ever seen him play, yet BR correctly pointed out if he’s on ALL STARS and A VILLIAN, Russ must have done something right in his season if not win his season. It was Parv that kept Sandra in and Parv’s immunity wins often prevented Russ from getting her voted out (when people weren’t afraid to go against her ass)…Russ COULD have picked Jerri, yet he went with Sandra who again appeared to be the weakest BUT was also a previous winner.

So what have we learned from Samoa and Heroes Vs. Villains? No matter how good or bad a player you are…the fact you got thru to the finals, the fact you one the FINAL immunity challenge, is complete irrelevant when it comes to a Jury of people who are pissed they got bested by TWO previous winners and Russ…..if anything, shouldn’t Russ have gotten at least a vote since he’s the only NON-WINNER to the Jury’s knowledge? Alas, the Jury full o’ bitches struck once again and denied Russ the respect of a vote for his strategic game play as well as his ability to outwit and outlast, using his lack of social game as a result. I’m with Russell, along with almost every contestant on Top Chef, ANTM, Bachelor/Bachelorette, Big Brother, TAR, and every VH1 show every created has said:

I’M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.

I’m with Russell on this one…why not make things interesting in Season 21 by having a Jury of 6 PLUS America’s vote worth one member to equal a jury of 7. When a group of All Stars of this caliber cannot separate their hurt feelings and embarrassment that they got taken by “the little Hobbit™,” you know something just isn’t right. For Boston Rob, a person who got burned once in All Stars (when he actually deserved to win over now-wife Amber) and again in HvsVil, yet STILL respect and admit game play over personal issues, a true lover of the game of Survivor would at least appreciate and semi-respect Russ’ way of playing the game, give or take the personal attacks which are purely strategy. In addition, this season Russ finally acknowledged the fact he did some funky things, but he was playing the game TO WIN since it was an All Star season. Damn shame the fucking Jury of 9 whiny bitches didn’t see it the same way…at least enough to even give Russ a vote.

The best thing I learned from Survivor Heroes Vs. Villains has to be Banana Etiquette! Hands down, if you are an All Star and by now you do not understand the intricacies of Banana Etiquette, well shame on you!

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  • Comments (3)
  1. Here is my issue with Sandra winning: Did she NOT point out that she kept trying to get out Russell but could not? That ALONE should have disqualified her from a vote. (except from the weak competitor Courtney) Her only strategy that worked: voting with the group so as long as her name was NOT on there. And, with all the "bitterness" why was Courtney and Coach not mad at her? It was her saving her ass that made Coach and Courtney leave. Also, I CANT stand people that use the "woah is me. My dh is in Afghanistan." How many times did CBS show us that shit? So, if they showed it that much…how many times was she discussing it? Why Parv should have won over Sandra. (We can cover the Russ should have won later). Parv was on the hot seat from DAY 1. She didnt have anyone except Dani and Russ. The idols saved her. She used idols to save Jerri and Sandra (if needed). She did outwit in may instances. She outwit many of the people on the jury and Sandra. She did outwit Russ when she kept the fact that she had an idol so he would give her his AGAIN. She outlasted. She was an immunity winning slut. (I didnt even discuss in the last paragraph about how many times Sandra sat out of challenges. How pathetic. That also should have disqualified her from a win). Parv outlasted them all with a huge target on her back. More to be added later…

  2. This thing is way too long to actually read… but I 100% agree with you. I don't understand how people that KNOW the game is all about scheming can turn around 5 days later and say… 'you scheme too much.'He outlasted and outplayed better than anyone, ever. Literally every single move he has ever tried WORKED. He thinks ahead 3 moves, wins immunity when he has to, and always knew how to get the votes for it to happen. He protected team members, he made Boston Rob look like a bitch 2 weeks in a row. I dunno what more you can do to OUTPLAY, OUTWIT, OUTLAST.They should change the name to OUT-LAZY, OUT-SCHMOOZE, OUT-DO-NOTHING.Survivor, I can't come here anymore.(jk. im a fucking addict. keep abusing me.)

  3. LMAOOOO Todd kiss my ass! The template is so narrow it makes the post madd long (sounds familiar?)

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